Kira's Funhouse
by Katie-Lyn 16
Summary: I'm back! And here's the re-edited version of Fight Fire with Jam/Kira's Fun-house/Kitsune no Yume! SO Akari and Heather get kidnapped and thrown into the world of Death  Note. This is based before Kira got insanely big  before Mello, Matt, and Near came
1. Chapter 1

**HAHA IM BAAAACCKKK~~~! SRRY I****'ve been gone for so long! I kinda forgot my password…. _ Ok so in this story, you kinda gotta go with the flow. And this is not following the plotline- sorta. I previously deleted the story Kira's Funhouse so this is the revised version that fallows the rules so yeah… **

**Ages:**

**Near-15**

**Mello-16**

**Matt-16**

**Heather-15**

**Akari-1****5**

**Beyond-1****7**

**L-18**

**Disclaimer: Meh no ownz Death Note! Oh ****and NO FLAMERS!**

I was reviewing my drawing when I swear it blinked and smiled at me. Mom calls me for dinner. "Ok mom!"

**Hirogaru yami no naka kawashiatta kakumei no chigiri**

**Aishita yue ni mebaeta aku no hana**

**Kore kara saki otozureru de arou subete wo**

**Dare ni mo jama saseru wake ni wa ikanai kara**

**Kajitsu ga tsug-**I check my cell, it was Heather.

_Hey What up A? Sooo bored!_

_-__H_

My friends and I go by the first letter of our names.

_NM wanna come over? I'm__ making cake!_

_-A_

"Akari, hurry up!" your little brother yells. "Hold on! Mom can Heather come?" Right when you look down the door bursts open revealing a tired out Heather A.K.A Heather-Feather A.K.A H. "Yo Heather come look at this." "What is it? Holy shit!" My picture! It moved! Near moved! "Dude I don't think pictures do that…" "Nor do I" you answer weirded out. "C-Come on lets go and have diner." You stutter. "Um y-ya." She answers. We both go have dinner without talking about the picture. After dinner Heather asks me to draw Mello, so I do and go to bed. Heather ended up staying at my house.

I fell asleep when Heather wakes me up. "People are coming up the stares! One is bare foot and the other has boots." She was right, there were heavy foot-steps coming up the stares with a pair of lighter foot-steps also. The footsteps stop in-front of the door. "You sure this is her room?" "I'm positive Mello." Oh my god. What the hell is going on! "Oh m-!" I cover her mouth before they heard her. The door starts to open and I throw Heather in the closet but you didn't have time to hide yourself. '_Shit.' _The door reveals two boys, one blond and one white. Mello and Near. Mello's the first to speak. "Hey A. You have a friend over to don't you." "N-Nobody's he-!" Heather falls out of the closet. _'Oh great' _"Oh my god, Akari, what did you do?"

"I-I don't know… The paper! Oh my god the paper!" I run down the stairs. I look at the paper and Mello. "Near, Mello, you guys came out of the paper right?" "Correct." Near replies. "Then all you have to do is go back through the paper! You can go home!" Then Mello grabs me and Heather. Then jumps through the paper with Near fallowing. "And you're coming to." We land in a room. I instantly recognized it as Wammy's House. "Come on you're seeing Rodger." Near says, leading the way. Mello harshly adds, "Talk and I shoot."

Scared I hide behind Near. "Mello please stop scaring them. Don't worry his bark's worse than his bite." He smiles. "Shut up Near!" He shouts. We continue walking, until we reach Roger's office. "Roger, are you in?" "Yes Mello?" Before he goes in he picks Heather up and tells us to pretend to be unconscious. Near picks me up and I let my head droop. Mello opens the door. "Roger, Near and I found these two on the steps unconscious." "Oh my! In this cold? OK well do you know their names?" "No we do not Roger." Near replies. "How 'bout we name them?" Mello says. "OK do you have any names in mind?" "Um how about we name the girl in the light blue, Alison?" Near asks. The girl in the green is Helen!" Mello shouts. "Perfect! OK how about they stay with you guys tonight until we can figure out where to put them." I must have turned at least seven shades or red. "Oh my, she might be getting a fever. Please go and take care of them. I trust you two." He warns. "Don't worry Roger." Mello answers. Near caries me out of the room and up a flight of stairs. He then stops and says, "OK Alison who do you want to stay with?" "Um… I don't know…can you put me down? Maybe-" some one cuts me off as Near sets me down. "Good evening. Oh a new comer! Two? Oh my!" A guy with black messy hair, red eyes, wearing a white long sleeve shirt (with jam stains) and jeans, exclaimed. "Akari and Heather? What nice names!" Freaky but he is kinda cute…"No B, it's Alison and Helen. Helen, how about you stay with B. That cool with you?" Mello asks. "Oh! Um… well-" Seeing Heather-I mean Helen stutter, I volunteer instead. "I'll go with him! I mean if you don't mind…" Near frowns. "Ok!" B smiles. "Come on!" "B!" Near whispers something I couldn't make out. "Far from now. No worries." B replies. Near sighs, "Good." He walks away leaving you and B alone. "Well, come on. Name's Backup." He stretches out his hand. You shake his hand politely. "Alison." We reach his room. I step in amazed, JAM jars EVERYWHERE! "Here we are! Jam?" He asks picking up a jar. "Um…no thanks." Oh, ok well what do you want to do now?" He asks, looking kind of upset. "Well… Lets go _make_ L take us to the mall!" I burst. "The Mall?" he asks. "You need a new shirt." I explain. "Oh. Ok." He looks down at his shirt. "Now, how do we_ make _him?" I think. "Steal his sweets." Beyond exclaims in a matter-of-fact tone. "Ok! I'll steal the sweets you start the fireplace." I say, having developed the perfect plan. "Fire place?" He questions. Silly boy, don't question genius! "Hostage. He doesn't take us, we burn the sweets." I giggle. "Good idea. You are now my new sister!" He shouts. "Yay?"

**5 min later…**

"K I'm in." I whisper in my phone. "They should be near the bed." Beyond whispers back. "Found them!" I shout/ whisper, grabbing the treats and running for the door. Right when I grab the handle someone stops me. _Shit! _"Where do you think you're going?" The voice asks, groggily. "Um…bye L!" I run like the devil was chasing me. "BB! Help me!" I scream. Beyond runs up. "What's wrong Alison?" "L's coming, look behind you!" I shout almost reaching the fireplace. I call Mello and Matt for help. "Need help, come on!" I shout into the phone. "Roger that!" They answer in unison. I turn and see M&M2 tackle L. We finally reach the fireplace. Dangling the bag of treats I shout to L, "Hey L take us to the mall?" lowering the bag. "No. Its to early" I lower the bag. "You sure?" I see L hesitate. "I'll take you in the morning." I lower the bag to the point the plastic bag was burning. "Fine!" L shouts, exasperated. "Please hand over the bag." "Yay!" We all shout, well except for Matt who was playing Mario Cart. "You guys done with your little prank?" Near asks from the top of the stairs. "Yah! Come on." I answer throwing the bag at L. Helen, runs down the stairs. "Mall?" "Yep. Come on lazy ass." Mello shouts. We all pile into the car. Near and I are squished in the passengers seat, Mello and Helen behind L, and Beyond and Matt behind me. L _needs _a bigger car, 5 seats 7 people. Two words, NOT FUN. Well, OK, maybe a little. I turn on the radio and the first song played is **I write sins not tragedies. **We all sing.

**Oh, well imagine; as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor,  
>and I can't help but to hear, no I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words.<br>"What a beautiful wedding!, What a beautiful wedding!" says a bridesmaid to a waiter.  
>"Oh yes, but what a shame, what a shame, the poor groom's bride is a whore."<strong>

**I chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door?"  
>No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.<br>I'd chime in "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door?"  
>No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of...<strong>

**Oh, well in fact, well I'll look at it this way, I mean technically our marriage is saved  
>Well this calls for, a toast so, pour the champagne,<br>Oh! Well in fact, well I'll look at it this way,  
>I mean technically our marriage is saved<br>Well this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne, pour the champagne...**

**I chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door?"  
>No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.<br>I'd chime in "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door?"  
>No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality...<strong>

**Again...**

**I chime in "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door?"  
>No.<br>It's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.  
>I'd chime in "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door?"<br>No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.**

**Again...**

We all crack up laughing, not even noticing that we're at the mall. "Ok everyone out." L commands, obviously annoyed. I run strait to the door. "Near we are so getting you new clothes, same for you BB." I grab both their hands and run to Macy's while Helen and Mello go to Hot Topics. "BB go look for a white t-shirt." I grab Near's hand and lead him to the back of the enormous Macy's department store. "BB behave!" I shout a warning. I'm looking around when somebody hugs me from behind. I whirl around to see that Matt had snaked his arms around my waist. "Umm Matt what are you doing?" I ask. "Snuggling you…" he purrs. My lord what did he drink!

"Umm what have you been drinking?" I question. "This. It tastes good, dry some." He pours it down my throat. Gross! Rum! "Where did you get that?"

"From some hobo. He was selling it for 3.50 and I was thirsty."

He snuggles the crook of my neck. All of a sudden L grabs him and gives the bottle to BB. "Don't drink i-" he cuts him off by drinking the rest of the contents. "Oh God."

I run, frightened for my life. So far all the characters have been different well, except Mello. BB might not try to kill me, but taking that chance was like committing suicide. I kept running until I noticed I still holding Near's hand. "Oops sorry Near. I shouldn't keep dragging you along." I look down, ashamed. "No. It's ok. I don't really mind. I really like- never mind. Come on let's hide here!" I kept wonder what Near was about to say. Hiding behind a clothing rack I tremble when something touches the top part of my thigh. "Sorry." I hear Near whisper. "Oh, it's ok…" suddenly the rack opens to reveal BB, L, and Matt. Ah crap… Matt raises an eyebrow at us. "Well Backup was drunk so we hid." Near says. "Oh, yeah, sure~." Matt roles his eyes. Near and I walk to the cashier. Near got jeans and plaid shirts, Beyond got more white shirts as did L, and Matt got a bunch of graphic tees. All of you guys climb back into L's car and drive back home.

**Hope you guys like it! N****ao click that smexeh button bellowz!**


	2. Chapter 2

**O.K. This is**** chapter two of Kira's Funhouse**

**Hope you guys like it! **

**Me no own Death Note! D: **

When I climb out I got pulled back by Near. I land with my head in his lap. "Near? What is it?" "Alison I think I…" "What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" Near shakes his head. "Never-mind. I'm fine. Forget I said anything." He gets out of the car, walking away. I walk into the house. The site you see makes my heart shatter into a million pieces. Near making out with _Linda_! I ran up the stairs sobbing. Why does it hurt to see them like that? I go strait to our room. BB's there but I ignore him. I sat in the corner and start crying harder. "Alison! What's wrong?" He picks me up, letting me soak his shirt with my tears. Cradling me in his arms, he asks, "What happened?" "Near's kissing Linda." I manage to choke out before burying my face in his chest. "Don't worry. I'm still here, I always will." He says warmly. "Thanks BB, you're a great friend." I fall asleep. "Just a friend, huh?" he smiles a sad smile before going to sleep, holding me protectively. 'Beyond's amazing, he's so nice not like the beyond in the book.' I woke up the next day and remember what happened yesterday. I sigh getting up to grab a pencil and paper. I start drawing something that I had no idea what it was. I try to focus and realize I drew an extremely detailed picture of Near. Beyond lifts the picture out of your hands, amazed. I noticed I was crying. "What am I going to do?" I whimper quietly. "How about you think of that later. Let's get some breakfast." I freeze. Near and Linda are gonna be there. BB picks me up like a baby. "Just hide your face. Let's give him a reason to regret hurting you." I snuggle deeper into his chest. Walking down the chairs he holds me tighter. He then shifts me so that I'm in one arm and he opens the door. "Fallow my lead." He cradles me with both arms again. "Morning!" he shouts. "Good morning!" some kids say. "Morning B." I hear Near state. "Alison." "Hmf!" I hide farther in BB's neck. "Seems like something happened yesterday. Alison came running in, crying saying she wasn't feeling so good. She wouldn't say what happened though. Do you know what happened, Near?" He asks. "No clue." Near answers. "Oh OK. Well we just came to get our breakfast. Bye! Oh and one last thing, Near? Alison is MINE." He grabs a tray, shifting me in one arm again. I had a hinting feeling that he was glaring at Near. We enter our room and he sits on the bed with me on his lap. "How the food?" "Good! I'm a little upset that Near was so cold though." _Tap tap_ "Come in!" Beyond yells. The door opens to reveal Linda. "Alison are you OK? You seemed mad at Near." "It's nothing, I just had a bad argument with him last night when something happened." I reply, masking my sadness. "Oh. OK well I hope you and Near make up. He can be really kind sometimes." I just laugh. Sure. He's so sweet one minute then the next he breaks your heart. She leaves, leaving me and Beyond all alone. _Knock knock_ "Come in!" I shout trying to make sure my voice doesn't crack. In comes Near. "What?" I ask, hiding behind Beyond. "I just came by to say that you to make such a cute couple." He answers, with a hint of sarcasm. I never knew he could be so mean. I never knew the characters would be so different than in the manga! "What's your problem?" I scream. "You are!" He says firmly. I walk up to him, as close as I could and I slap him. **Hard.** "You're a jerk!" He just stays quite, so I continue. "You're so sweet one second, then you hurt me, and now you make fun of me and Beyond? I hate you! I hate you, I hate you I… hate…you…so much…" great, I started crying again. "_I_ hurt _you_? You're too _blind_ to see that I actually _liked_ you! Then you go and hit on _him!_" He yells in my face. I never thought Near could yell like that. He was always so calm in the anime and manga. I pushed the thought away, too upset to hang onto it. "So you go and make out with Linda, huh? Sure shows you liked me." My voice dripped with sarcasm. "I saw how blind you were so I gave up! Is that wrong?" "If you love some one, you keep trying…" my voice cracking. "Try? I did try." He glared at me. "Get out." "What?" He asks, not hearing me. "Get out!" "WHY?" He asked, extremely pissed off. "I _said _GET OUT OF MY FACE!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, almost breaking Beyond's ear. Near walks out, closing the door behind him, calm exterior back. I started crying harder. Beyond picks me up cooing soft words. I stop crying and somehow went to sleep. Maybe I love Beyond…_do_ I? 'Whatever. I'll eventually find out.' I thought as I drift off to sleep. I wake up the next day, hearing an argument. "When will you tell her?" Austin's voice. "Soon." Beyond's.  
>The door creaks open so I pretend to be asleep. "Alison? Please, wake up." you open your eyes at the sound of Beyond's silk like voice. "Hmn?" "Well you see...it just so happens that...I...love you." That said he dashes out the door. I try to chase after him but he already disappeared. "I think I love you too." I smile at the thought. If only I paid closer attention, I would have heard Near sigh. Then I would have realized the horror that was about to take place in Wammy's house.<br>**Next Day dot dot dot.  
><strong>Vroom! "Holy shit! Alison, pack a light bag, only things you really need we're leaving!" Beyond screams while Near shakes me awake. "What the fuck! What in bloody hell is going on?" I scream, hey, its not fun being yelled at, at 3'oclock in the morning. Mello who was holding a sleeping Helen shouts, "Kira's in the building and he just killed Austin!" Screams filled the hall. Beyond opens our window carrying three crying toddlers, Mello ties a rope to my bed and throws the rope out the window. Near opens our door and let's in about 30 kids, between 2-6 years old. Matt is at the bottom, Mello throws Helen out the window and Matt catches the now panicked girl, placing her on the ground. One by one the kids slide down, each one hiding their face. I slipped on a hoody and hid my face also. Beyond slides down ready to catch me. About to slide down I noticed one kid still didn't go and the door starts to break off. Some ones coming in! I quickly grab the kid and slide down just before the door breaks down revealing Light Yagami. Matt had hijacked a red sports car and Mello, a motorcycle. Beyond managed to get the camper working and get all the kids in. I ran inside still holding the kid. Mello rides off with Matt right behind. "Hold on tight kids, we're burning some rubber!" Beyond shouts, I finally get a good look at kid. I take off his oversized hood and see that it was a little boy with the same hair as Near but with my eyes. He looks up at me then and shouts the oddest thing. "Mommy!" he shouts glomping me. "Hi! What's your name?" I ask him while carrying him to Beyond. "My name is Beyont." "Oh! That's a nice name." sure sounds like Beyond yet adorable. I sit in the passenger seat next to Beyond. "Who's this kid?" He asks. "Uncuwe Beyond!" He shouts, glomping beyond also. (He meant uncle) "What the fuck?" "Ugh…" I sweat dropped. "Did he just call me _Uncle?" _ Beyond slowly peels the boy off him and hands him back to me. Night comes and Beyont is asleep as are the others except for Beyond, Near, Mello, Matt, Helen, and me. Beyond, notices that he needs gas. Mello, Matt, and he drive up. While they're getting gas a man runs up trying to break into the car. Mello grabbed his gun and shot the crazed man senseless. Both Helen and I scream in horror as the man lay bleeding to death on the floor. Beyond hops in and we all drive to a huge hotel. "Hi my name is Michel Jones. I would like to get my room now." Said Matt. "Of course! Right this way." The lady at the counter leads us up 16 floors and down 3 hallways. It was a beautiful hotel but the room was even better! Wait… "Matt! 1 room for 30 something people?" "That's all I could afford!" Matt yells, embarrassed. Oh, this is gonna me FUN!


	3. Chapter 3

Hope you like Ch 3! Sorry it took so long...  
>I own nothing!<br>I don't even own this compter! It's my mom's... :(

"Matt, why'd you get ONE five star hotel room whenyou could have gotten SEVENTEEN motel rooms?" Beyond asks, clearly annoyed with the sitation. "Because this place has the fastest WiFi I could find!" Matt replied defensively. I roll my eyes. 'Sure this place is beautiful but we can't fit everyone in here!' I thought. I here Matt and Beyond bickering back and forth and Helen finally takes charge of the situation. I sit on a desk to watch it all play out. "OK! So kids with aliases from A to M on the bed to the RIGHT!" she shouts directions and splits everyone up on to two beds. "NOW, kids with aliases from N to Z on the bed to the LEFT!" All the kids run to their beds. I grab Helen's arm. "Where do we sleep?" I ask. "Anywhere else obviously, but I call that couch thing near the window!" So Beyond, Melllo, Helen, Linda, and I all scramble for another place to sleep. Near just walks. Beyond got the desk I was sitting on earlier, Mello begged Hellen for a spot on the lounge chair, and Linda saved a spot for Near on the sofa. And I got the lounge chair OUTSIDE. The chair wasn't SO bad. It was comfy and big so I had plenty of room, the only problem was that it was COLD! I shivered a little but sucked it up and went to sleep.  
>The next morning I woke up to hear screaming and laughter in the room and to find that I was rapped in a towel. Huh, I didn't remember falling a sleep with it. I must have gotten up and got it and I just don't remember. I got up and looked off the balcony. We had a beautiful view. To bad we're only staying for one more day. I frowned at the thought. I jumped when I hear Helen's voice, "Hey, you're up! Here I got you some breakfast. Haha you slept like a rock. Well Matt and Beyond are looking for motels, wanna go help?" I laughed. "So that's why I heard all that screaming! Are they bickering AGAIN? Haha oh well, I'll go help them. Are the kids in the pool?" I walk in side. "Yep, kids. All they wanna do is play. It's sad we have to keep moving. Do you have any idea when we'll stop?" she asked. "Soon probably. But I bet money that we'll be moving to America soon. That is where LABBMC is held." I remember reading that book awhile back, but Beyond was nothing like the BB in the book. Well except his love for jam and his looks. "Yeah, I can see us going there, the characters are all so different from the ones in the books. Aren't they?" Helen looks off the balcony and sighs. I laugh knowing how much she likes Mello. "Mello's a cool guy, huh? I know you like him!" I giggle as she panics."WHAT? NO I DON'T! WHO TOLD YOU THAT?" she screams. "It's obvious! I'm your best friend, Heather I can tell when you like a dude." I use her real name finally. It makes me kinda miss my old home. My dad, my brother, my grandmother. I don't really miss my mom, we rarely got along. But they must be so worried, not knowing where I am. I just disappeared without saying goodbye. "You miss them, don't you." Heather asks. I sigh, "Yeah, I do, but this is my home now and I have to protect it. I just wish I could have said goodbye." "Yeah I know how you feel, I really miss my mom but we can't leave just yet. Heck I doubt you or I will ever want to leave!" she laughs at the end. "Well we'd better go help those two choose a motel!" we both laugh hearing those two yelling at each other. "Let's go." she said as we walked back into the room. "Oi! Love birds! Pick a place yet?" "Alison. Thank God you're here. Tell this idiot that we need a resonable motel, not one with the fastest WiFi!" Beyond shouted. "No! I need WiFi!" Matt protested.<br>"Shut up before I kill you!"  
>"Fucking MoFo I need my WiFi, damn it!"<br>"Thats it!" Beyond grabs a knife from inside his shoe. "If you dont pick a fucking decent, cheap, motel I WILL stab you with this knife!" stepping closer to Matt with each word he said.  
>"Wait! Why do you have a knife?" Helen yelled.<br>"Why wouldn't I?" Beyond smirks while spinning the knife with his fingers.  
>"Beyond, put that away." I sigh. Beyond glares but safely tucks the knife back in his shoe while muttering under his breath.<br>Hmmm...maybe they aren't that different after all.

OK review! PLEASE? :3


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